Hello, Folks! Sorry I haven't posted since V-Day. I was finishing up my second story for Bethany's sites and then I got sick, and then my neck went out. Sigh. I'm 24 but I have the spine of a 55 year old. But I didn't consider how hard it is to be on the computer with a stiff neck. Nigh impossible. But I digress. I've mentioned other peoples' wives in an earlier post but I must mention how horrible it is when you're in a DD relationship and then you witness another couple who needs to be. Of course, whether they need it or not makes no difference—James and I can't talk about our relationship, anyway. Let's face it, if you say "spanking", they HEAR "beating/spousal abuse", and then, before you know it, they'll be looking down on YOU, saying how YOU should be more like THEM. And that would make you and us sick. So, mentioning spanking as an option, again, is NOT an option. Let's proceed with my tale. So, in case none of you realized: I'm somewhat of a hermit. I tend to be a wee bit agoraphobic, so I really don't enjoy being around large groups of people. I tend to have a few close friends, rather than lots of casual friends/acquaintences. James is very sweet and forces me to go with him when he and his friends decide to put all the wives on a play-date in hopes that we'll all be friends. Here's the problem with that—four wives, one of them with a 1 ½ year old, one of them pregnant, one of them not really a wife, just a live-in girlfriend, and me. I think we all recognize that once you start having children, you have trouble getting along with wives that don't, simply because you have a whole other set of problems you can't talk about. It's not that I don't want children one day, it is just that I don't have them yet, and so I can't identify with the daily trials and tribulations associated with them. But I interact with these people and listen to them yak on about diapers and little shoes on a pretty common basis. In the meantime, I mentally compare their marriages to my own. THE STORY OF CHRIS & MIRANDA If ever there was a couple that should use DD, it would be Chris, my husband's best friend, and his wife, Miranda. The weird thing about them is they don't use DD but they are familiar with the HOH idea—by Miranda's own desire, Chris is Head of Household, at least in theory. He makes the final decisions, does the budgeting, etc. (again in theory). What Chris doesn't understand is… Just because she calls you the HOH doesn't mean you ARE the HOH. If Chris WAS the HOH, Miranda wouldn't have done these things:

1. Nagged Chris into having a baby before he finished Grad school, and then started complaining constantly because he hasn't finished his Ph.D. on time because he has to work from home and watch the baby the majority of the week. She also whines that they're poor, because of the baby, and because he's still working on the Ph.D. instead of getting a real job.
2. Forced them to spend $15,000 on one car instead of getting a good car for her and the baby for $10,000 and getting an old car for Chris for $5000 so he wouldn't have to ride his bike several miles to the bus stop, hold up the bus to put the bike on the rack on the front of the bus, endure the angry looks of the people who he just delayed, ride the bus to campus, then walk from the bus stop to his building, in addition to having to get picked up and dropped off by his friends anytime he goes anywhere with them. She even complains about getting stuck at home when he needs the car. Again, getting ONE $15,000 vehicle was her idea, and she actually managed to guilt him into doing it by claiming that a cheaper car wouldn't be "safe for the baby".
3. Complain about them never having any money yet go shopping regularly, never shopping at discount stores (she will actually wait outside Ross when I beg to shop there, because she and Sarah (the pregnant one) won't be seen there), or looking for sales (I've watched her pay $100 bucks for a pair of jeans).
4. Nag Chris about not being in the same shape as he was in when she met him, as she eats a Snickers bar and hasn't dropped any of the baby weight since she had their son more than a year ago, hasn't worked out in 2 ½ years and isn't the one riding a bike to work two to three times a week.
5. Constantly spend over her "allowance" (budgeted by Chris, at her request) by doing things like buying things for the house on the household budget, returning them for cash, and then spending the cash on her own stuff.
6. ALWAYS talk back to Chris when he asks her to do ANYTHING.
7. Yes, there's more. I can keep going all day. But I won't. My point as been made.

And yes, James is flabbergasted at the whole situation himself. And he hates to see Chris so miserable with his problems, but like hell James is going to say anything like, "You know, Chris—you should try spanking! Works for me!"

1. James and I have been married for less than a year and together for only two. We don't have the longevity to start telling people what they can and can't do in their marriage. They figure we're only doing well because of our "honeymoon glow" anyway.
2. James is younger than Chris by four years. James is 25, Chris is 29. So, we can't do the whole "we're older and wiser" thing.

YET—James and I constantly fantasize about Chris and Miranda converting to DD. We'd pay good money for such an event. And actually, we work even harder on our relationship in case the day actually comes when we flip our common sense on its ass and tell Chris about DD. For example, James has been helping me lose some extra pounds (at my request) by making me exercise and keep a food journal. He says in his estimation, the best way to get other women to our side is to lose all the weight I want, and then when people ask how I did it, to tell them the truth. Women will try nearly anything to be at their goal weight. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! WHY SHOULD CHRIS BE INTERESTED IN DD IN THE FIRST PLACE, MRS. SMARTYPANTS?! Because Chris wants control (and Miranda at least claims that she also wants him to have control). And he should; he's intelligent, caring, selfless, and has good sense! … Miranda, God Bless her, doesn't have that. Chris's the perfect HOH. Only he has no way to ENFORCE his decisions! Decisions that would be good for the health of his household. How can you be a HOH when you can't enforce your rules? You can't, in short. At least, I haven't seen it done, and Chris and Miranda are certainly no example if it. Marriages normally work because of some sort of mutual respect that goes on, but Chris and Miranda don't have it. Miranda doesn't really care about Chris' opinion. Why should she? What's in it for her? She's got it made, as long as she doesn't care about her spouse's happiness. It's up to Chris to stick up for himself—but how do you even do that without spanking? Without "taking your wife in hand"? You don't. Not when your wife doesn't really respect you. And I think this is one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high—the man can't take control, and can't get respect from his wife once she realizes he's never actually going to put his foot down. Spanking is out; punishing his wife all together is out, in fact! It would raise a hullaballoo if a man sent his wife to her room, let alone to the woodshed! I LOVE my Psychology Today magazine subscription. Because you always find something good you can write a spanking blog on. The March-April 2009 issue talked about couples living together and what drove them nuts. Now, in the article, they gave an example about a wife who was supposedly really making her husband's life hell—constantly nagging him. He tried to leave the room, but she followed him from room to room, and even got into his way, blocking the hallway so he couldn't move. So he pushed her aside and locked himself in a room. Then she decided she didn't want to have children with him, because "how can you have a child in such a violent home?" It gets better—the couple goes to a psychologist, who advised the husband that whenever his wife would do something like that - nag at him or not respect him - he should fondle her. In private, public—wherever they were, he would just have to openly fondle her. Literally just reach up her skirt or shirt and fondle her. I kid you not, this is what the magazine said. And it worked. So we're not that crazy, Folks! Spanking, in my eyes, is better than being randomly fondled, and it achieves the same result—it makes the wife realize how often she's disrespectful, how it makes her husband feel, and puts her back into her place and back into respect for her husband. The only difference between fondling in the manner suggested and spanking in the manner we suggest (which is in private) is the aspect of humiliation which would result from being fondled in public. Spanking also reinforces the fact that the husband is the HOH, while fondling (at least when used as a means of modifying behavior) would seem to indicate that the wife is nothing but a sex object. However, I will congratulate that particular psychologist on at least recognizing that some form of physical punishment is very useful for maintaining a healthy relationship. Viva psychologists!